Book review: "Wars of the Roses: Bloodline", by Conn Iggulden (part 3 of a 4 part series)

Synopsis: With the defeat of Richard of York at the battle of Wakefield, Queen Margaret of Anjou and her Lancastrian forces head victoriously towards London. There's a nasty surprise, though, as their riotous surge south has scared the inhabitants of the capital stiff, locking her out and forcing her back north. In another unfortunate twist of fate for the red-rosed royals, Edward of March enters London unobstructed, crowns himself king, and leaves London as Edward IV, hot on the Queen's tail to face her at the bloodiest battle ever fought on British soil- the battle of Towton.

Having thoroughly dealt with his family's enemy of the best part of 30 years, Edward is free to rule... but old habits die hard, and it's not long before he's seeing conspiracy and treason amongst the very men who put him where he is. As he embarks on a mission to "trim the vine" of the powerful house that made him king, patience begins to wear thin, tempers start to fray, and King Edward will find that tables that turn quickly, will quickly turn back...

Review: Apparently, it's actually quite easy to become king- you just rock up, cobble together some half-baked story about a distant ancestor and a Parliamentary Act you inherited from your dad, throw a few thousand pounds around, and make sure you've got enough pissed-off locals to do the dirty work for you. It also helps if the current king, the one you're trying to overthrow, is as fabulously unpopular as Henry VI- in fact, that's a key part. And if you can capture him and keep him prisoner for years without most people apparently noticing or caring, then you know you're onto a winner...

The hard part- as Eddie and countless others before and since have discovered- is holding on to your well-earned title. There's several approaches one could take; 1) be a bloody good king, SO good that common-folk will wonder how they ever survived without you, 2) be brutally oppressive, slaughtering anyone who whiffs of rebellion, 3) marry a manipulative control-freak and let her work her way through your list of enemies... or, there's secret option number 4) a corrupted cocktail of all of them!

And the part of Lady Macbeth for tonight's performance will be played by Elizabeth Woodville. Yes, as soon as she's Edward's queen, this recent graduate from the "A woman's guide of how to piss of the Nevilles and lead your country into a state of perpetual war" course (presumably taught by Margaret of Anjou) sets about applying her new techniques with fury, fully convinced (and not without reason) that the Neville family has spent too much time reproducing and marrying off (and repeating) and not enough time doing whatever else rich and powerful people are supposed to spend their leisure time doing...

So, who's first on the list? Well, let's start off with an easy one. Cruella Woodville believes that Archbishop and tubby Nevillite George Neville has had far more than his share of bishopping around the country, and it's time to let someone else have a go at it for a change. In a move of Biblical irony, the bishop is drained of his power once his seal is taken from him, like Samson having his hair cut...

One down, two to go...

Then there's never-quite-sure-if-he-really-is-a-psychopath John Neville, who you felt sorry for in "Trinity" after he had his fairytale alfresco wedding interrupted by a half-arsed attempt on his life by Henry Percy and his bunch of merry wedding-crashers, but who now never seems to be around unless there's someone who requires their head to be immediately and permanently removed from their shoulders. Ever since its former owner Thomas Percy died at Towton, he's been lounging it up in Percy's lands and residence, presumably laughing maniacally and throwing darts into his portrait late at night. Well, the fun stops here, John, as your spoils are going back to their rightful owner- a spotty Percy youth captured and kept in the tower of London, forgiven and released by King Edward.

What happens when the king you created...

... goes rouge?

And finally, Elizabeth turns her attention to Richard Neville, recently promoted to Earl of Salisbury (although affectionately and, to avoid confusion, known simply as Warwick). Despite being rich to an extent that you expect him to put on a top hat and pull out a pocket watch every 30 seconds, Warwick has come up with a way to get even richer... this time, REALLY rich, and REALLY forever. What could it be?  I smell a wedding! Yes- you've guessed it- the one-trick-pony strikes again, and Warwick decides not to break with tradition. Instead of retiring gracefully and concentrating on his hobbies, Warwick plays a dangerous game of "poke the 6ft 4" usurping English king into provocation" by engaging his daughter, Isabel Neville to the King's own brother, George of Clarence. Unsurprisingly, under the influence of his wife, Edward says no... but Warwick, God bless him, is a "kingmaker"...

... and where there's a will, there's a way! :D

On a more serious note about the importance of this book- people often ask me, "Why do you study history? What's the point? It's all in the past, it's not relevant now". They'll even add, when it comes to ancient history, "It was TOO LONG AGO to affect today, so what does it matter?" At this point, I could easily go on a tirade about how hugely wrong these cynics are- how everything had a birth, a lifespan, and a death. How every reality that we often take for granted today started out as an idea, and one to be feared and shut away, but eventually gaining ground, and turning into a struggle that many people viewed as more valuable and long-lasting than their own temporary time on Earth. How England didn't always have a middle-class, universal healthcare, or even educate the vast majority of it's population, most of whom would be considered an ancient old biddy if they made it past 40. And I could also confidently say that without a study of history, we are in danger of going backwards, not forwards. No- today, I'm going to play devil's advocate, and I'm going to give them their way... a little bit.

Let's say that all that they've said is true, and that learning about history is pointless. Let's cast our minds into a state where it's possible to believe that we don't need to study the actions of our ancestors, or for even a mere moment contemplate gaining any lessons from their misfortune or triumphs. Let's imagine that as a human race, we all agree that any attempt to consider where we are today as a direct consequence of what happened prior is a futile and fruitless venture. Even in this meaningless and depressing dystopia, I would still recommend this book, this entire SERIES, in fact, based solely on the fact that it's INTERESTING.

It's true that most books, with a handful of exceptions including holy scriptures, aren't likely to transform your life. Even the handiest self-help books can't guarantee they'll help you live better, find love, or even write great blogs... :) And Bloodline, like most books, falls into the over-populated category of books that are PRACTICALLY almost useless, in terms of the impact it can have towards making you a "better person". True- it's not likely to to get you a job, or help you score at a bar... at best, it might win you a couple of quid on pub-quiz night. And yet, like so many great books, despite its lack of "practical application", it doesn't feel worthless. Quite the opposite. Holding it while you read feels like holding something immensely important and of great value- like an ancient and finely crafted chess set, with each of its pieces beautiful and impressive in it's own right. The books absorb you based on the sole fact that you are curious, and you want to be entertained. They deliver- and what's more, you spend the rest of the day struggling to ever really shake these vividly painted ghostly faces of our ancestors from your mind.

Finally, as cliche as it might sound, Bloodline does what all great historical fiction does, which is put a name to a face, and then breathe life into it. It's one thing to read about the exploits of Edward IV- "He was the son of Richard of York, he won the battle of Towton, he became King and married Elizabeth Woodville..." etc etc. It's quite another to meet him as a boisterous 14 year old, play-fighting with the guards with a wooden sword, watching him grow into a giant 17 year old, able to wrestle with fully grown and experienced knights, feeling the pain of a tragedy-stricken son as he hears and reacts to the news of his father at the battle of Wakefield, becoming drunk on bravado and trust in the belief that his friend and mentor has in him to become king, and the pain, anger and resolution that he feels as he realises that he has to burn the very bridges he crossed to get to the throne. Conn Iggulden, a man who was surely born to put the "story" into "history", will make you fully and intensely interact with these real historical figures, whose world is now yours to explore, and who had their personal stories told by a true master of the craft.

Score: 9/10