Comedy

Nomad

by Alan Partridge

Synopsis: Alan Partridge is back... and this time, he's on the road! After discovering that his late father once failed to show up for an interview at Dungeness Nuclear Power station, Alan (in true Partridge style) feels it his duty to complete the on-foot journey from Norwich to the South Coast that his father never could. After several failed attempts to secure a television deal to record the walk, Alan decides that it must be a spiritual endeavour that will not only honour his late dad, but also teach him more about... him (his father). However, with a strict 2-week limit given to him by North Norfolk Digital's overlord ("boss") Greg, and with only the likes of hapless booze-jockey Dave Clifton and the bebearded Sidekick Simon to cover his ever popular mid-morning slot, will Alan make it back before Monday morning and, if so, will he be a changed man?

Review: For those of you who aren't familiar with Alan Partridge (probably because you didn't have a T.V. during the 90's)- he is a symbol of quite a specific British mindset that, once dominant and making up the status-quo, is now struggling to cope with the modern world of today- one of paying homage to a picture of the Queen, driving to country pubs in a Land rover (or a Volvo, at a push), and going to sleep to the soothing sounds of Jeremy Clarkson.

So, there's something essentially 'British' about Alan Partridge (specifically, his 'little England' mindset, which has shown to be more widespread than ever since the BREXIT referendum), and therefore assists in the more global question(s); "Who is Alan Partridge? And also, what does it actually mean to be 'British'?" One of those (the latter) is a very relevant question that millions of people had to ask themselves in 2016, and this instantly gives a real weight and significance to this topical book.

The book itself centralises around Alan's great journey, but as you can imagine (and would EXPECT, considering it's 274 pages long!), Alan uses the opportunity to engage us in some ruddy good personal insights into the world, life,1 and soul of Alan Partridge. Sadly, though, he largely uses it as a chance to bitch (mostly about Noel Edmonds), to set the record straight (again, Edmonds)... but most importantly, and I cannot stress this enough... to shamelessly name-drop and to show off who he's amiably connected to in the show-biz world (with the exception of Edmonds, with whom he shares a mutual disdain. Alan only refers to Noel by his last name, quoting "I won't dignify him with his full name. Besides, he signs his emails and legal letters "Edmonds", so he started it").

But, his tangents are a more than welcome respite from a frankly arduous march across East Anglia (including a 280 km detour round the back of London- read the book to find out why!). My personal favourite insight into the mind of this unique man, which I've quoted here, gives us a clear picture of Alan's philosophy about revenge:

"When I was young- i.e. up to the age of fifty - almost all of my actions were motivated by revenge. If you had wronged me, then sooner or later you'd have it coming to you. It might not be that week, it might not be that year, but if your name was on the list I kept in a Harrogate Toffee box buried in my garden, then trust me, the die had been cast. And while I have to admit that some of the happiest times of my life have been as a result of getting someone back, the quest for retribution was an exhausting one.

Let's say a colleague has caused offence by failing to compliment you on your new haircut. It's not like they haven't noticed. It's shorter than before, it's got gel in and the way the fringe flops over to the right makes you look, what, four years younger? Yet they don't say a word. Where's the best place to pay them back? Think about it for a moment. You know for a fact they'll be at work every day, you even know where their desk is. But that would be too easy, too obvious, even. Better by far to do it where they feel safest: their home. Order sixty Littlewoods catalogues to be delivered to the place where they live, where their parents live, where their children live, and you can seriously shake them up".

And with those, the ramblings of a border-line sociopath, you very much have a measure of the man.

So, is it funny (Me asking myself)? Yes! (Me answering myself). It's also worth mentioning that, a-typical of a man who both loves the sound of his own voice and loves the sound of his own voice saying his own name, "Nomad" is also available on audio book (or youtube, for you petty-criminals out there). And for all die-hard Partridge fans (all 4 of you), rest assured that you'll get the full Partridge deal. From his affectionate pleas to Angela, his as-of-late ex-girlfriend, to a touching pictorial tribute to Michael, his missing-presumed-dead Geordie friend... to Bill Oddy, who tears himself away from spotting bluechests in order to wish him luck, "Nomad" picks up the life of Alan Partridge from right where you last left it.

Finally, what A. Partridge book review would be complete without an anecdote... about Edmonds?
 Taken from Nomad's chapter 14, simply entitled "Edmonds"

Score: 9/10

1 This is an Oxford Comma, without which no review of anything within the Partridge brand would be complete.